Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
