if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
