Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
