Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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