Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
