So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
