ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
