he thought i was a dude.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
