Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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