we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
