if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Already got asked if we're dating
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
