did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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