I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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