you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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