You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
