There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
