Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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