Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
