i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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