last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
