Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
