So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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