i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
