I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
