Do you still have your period?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Randomize
