I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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