I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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