I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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