Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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