Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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