Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
