So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
