Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Barsexuality is the new black.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
