I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
