I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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