"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
