how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
