I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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