Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
