I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
My vagina just recognized that song.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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