I am puke
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
