her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
