We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
