you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
