He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
