if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
