It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
