At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
