Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
