my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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