I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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