Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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